Hollow Hearts Singing Orchestra

Hollow,
yet its very realistic.
Shallow,
yet its deeper than the sea.
Wonder how long I'll wait.
Realising the truth,
blindfolded still, by the heart.
I'll wait,
and it does hurt to know so,
you'll never hold these hands.

Hope wont flutter away,
Believing in the false tract,
Deluded by own fault,
Wantings go into rantings,
Smudges on the papers
A kiss of goodbye,
stolen by the faulty memories.
Hearing the Hollow Hearts
Singing an Orchestra.
Waiting is nothing,
it's my best friend.

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Dropping Goners

Haha, it's funny knowing that people could turn out to be different than what you expected of them to turn out to be. This shows that life is very complicated yet in it's own complexness, I can see the joyful moments that life brings to me, you and them. Really, if you ever wonder deeper you should be asking why someone who wanted to be a doctor(and you're seeing he/she making his/her way to be one) turn out to be a lawyer of some sort. Forget calling he/she a doctor, he/she's now a lawyer. Yup, fate intertwined with life makes it more unpredictable yet you will always be happy with what you get, being grateful for every moment God gives you the pleasure doing what you like best or doing what you do best?

Taking this opportunity, I salute you guys who bravely took on the challenge from the Gov. by going to NS. Yes, it's a challenge. I mean come on, I just finished high school and suddenly I have to go on for a "vacation:jungle fever" (more like a summer camp to me :P) which is forced on me to go to. Hell yeah, if I said I wanna go so much. I long for this kind of freedom and why would I give it away for some national, patriotism, wacky-wacky crap like camp. No way, I would go! (Not that I'm against NS or so XD) So that's why I'm grateful that my name is not included. I hope the people who get to go for NS will have a great time and took this opportunity to learn as many as you can from the "so-called" patriotic people. Hehe :)

My desk with my desktop. Messy :P

I'm doing nothing actually right now. Just having the urge to type something so I take a seat in front of my computer, listening to my chemical romance's enchanted, and typing away whatever things that crossed my mind. Now that my brother already back to his university, I have this room to myself and I have the pleasure to do anything what I wanted to do in it, since my brother's not here anymore. (By the way, it become a lot more spacious too.. XD) Still, I'm alone in this room, if only my friends live near me. I'm feeling kinda sleepy right now, so I'm going to bed which is right behind me. Still kinda early for me.

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About the Author

Chom @ Akmalg

Freshly 19teen, and enjoying most of the moment. Well, let's just enjoy whatever we have right now. And when days are passing, know that yours aren't if you don't want it to.

Faynatic's. I miss you guys.

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A Brilliant Smile

When you guys read the title, you all must have guessed it must all be about me today. But, to break it to you guys, it's not about me this time. I only write about my feelings when I'm feeling happy or extremely sad or lonely.(alienated, somehow it's relevant :P) When we lead on our own lives, we must one day come across a big problem, an obstacle so challenging that a glance from your eyes makes your heart wither, sinking in the sea of and endless despair. Let's just face it. We as a human cannot run from having problems. If we don't happen to never crossed one, then you're out from the human league. Yes, it's true. We must somehow face a problem before in our lives, yes? Even it's just going to the grocery store for your mother who wants to cook lunch or having the assignment which needed to be passed up before the deadline(which is like 2-3 days, Yup, I've been one myself :P). Facing the deaths of your loved ones. Parting with your friends. This is life. We must face it or we gonna be down always.

I believe, to overcome your problems, is to overcome it with a smile. Yes, a smile. Yup, I've said it. A smile will change it all. When you're feeling down because of your problems, don't just take a chair and seat in the corner of the room facing that exactly corner or just roll up in your blanket crying hard. Why don't you carve a smile on your face and think about the goods in life that you have right now. Think of your loved ones. Think the happy moments that you had with them all this time. You're sure to carve a smile on your face, somehow, even it's just a little a bit. Then take the time to think it all over again. When you lost your loved one/s, it doesn't mean it's the end of the world already. I'm very sure that your beloved wouldn't want you to be sad for him/her. It's true that I haven't faced the situation of losing someone so precious to me, but when that day come, I will toughen myself up and carve a smile of feeling a new. You can't be sad forever, it will be depressing on others that rely on you, as their pillar of strength. Just put a smile, a brilliant one that is, making sure to everyone that you are okay.

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Cramming It All In

A scenery from MJSC itself. Beautiful isn't it?

How should I begin this? I missed my friends so bad. I really do. The big question is that:

"Can I see them again?"

I mean we live far far away. Can you imagine? Life without friends like? It's like a human with a hollow heart. Nothing that can be seen or touched of the heart. I remember the laughter of my friends. Usop's teasing me. Radzi's playing words with me. Naim screaming here and there. Qayyum's playing game (which is my phone if you asked. I cant get hold of it myself. XD) next to me. How I wish I could retake my own life again. Just this once.

I missed my class. My table mates especially. We do a lot of group work together. Taufiq and Syamil, I don't and wont forget you guys. You guys brighten up my life, even it just a little bit. I missed everyone's voice, so bad that I wish we could go to the same class again just one more time wearing school uniform. Silly of me right? The teachers. They are wonderful people teaching me what's good and what's bad. I really love them. I don't know why, but I still love the school even though I hate it so much. Maybe it just the memories that had been stuck there for a long time?

I know, I know, I've been ranting the same thing all over again. But, I can't help it. I really do love my friends. They're my world other than my own family and siblings. I just can't wait the changes that is gonna happen when I go back to maktab and receive my own SPM result. Until that, I wish I would stop remembering them and laughing alone. My brother kept asking me why I was smiling or laughing all alone by myself. He thought I was going senile or something. It's just I remembered you guys. (It's no way that I'm going senile at this such young age! C'mon gimme a break! :P) That's all. It's hard to crammed it all in.

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Annoucement of Determination

'I, Muhammad Akmal bin Abdul Ghani, hereby have come to a resolution that I will loose that weight of mine so that I can attain my ideal weight which is 70~80 kilos from 115 kilos that I've been carrying all this time. I promised myself to do so and I intended to do so. People who read this is living proof of my own promise to myself. '

Your support is very much appreciated.

Yours Truly,
Akmal Ghani

Laugh all you want. It takes determination and a lot of courage just to say this out loud and make a promise to myself in public.

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Travelling Treasures

Hey, it's been quite a long time since I've been ranting about something. At last, I've got time to get to a computer and write something. From Kedah, I traveled to KL, alone. Actually, I wasn't that brave to go alone, but the thought that I need a day off makes me push myself through the limit. Hehe, it was worth it. I arrived around 2 p.m. From there, I contacted my trusted buddy, Usopp, as he was the one who should pick me up. The bus, MARA liner, I believed the bus, put my whole faith on it and it dropped me outside the Pudu station while it's still raining. Hish, and it's quite been along time since I last been to KL. I don't even know where the Pudu station is. Everything looked like a pudu station to me. Anyway, I muster all my courage and wander around looking for the station. Luckily, I saw a bus going inside a building, so I assume that is the station. I went in, and there Usopp walking straight to me. We ate and walked our ass to Low Yatt. I asked Usopp, how to get there. And I got what I didn't wanted to hear. "I really dunno this place," Usopp replied looking very frank. I followed Usopp, and we did eventually got there. Low Yatt, was very interesting, technology mall for me. After that a brief walk to Times Square. Saw a woman dancing on the dancing arcade thingy at cosmo's world. Looked really like Yuna.

The next day we went to Times Square to hang out with my good friends, Anne and Mien. Yep, upon arriving at Times Square, we met Anne, alone. Where's Mien? She came out late I think. Usopp left me with Anne and now we looked like we're dating or something which makes me really, (when I said really, I mean REALLY) uncomfortable. So I followed Anne to a food court and ate chicken rice there with her. Later Usopp came with Mien, looking like a date. To cancel out their effects, Mien accused us to dating first. What the heck? We went on watching a movie later. I AM LEGEND something. Quite boring as the story is somehow depressing.

The very next day, I went out with Usopps family. We went to Kajang. Yeah, satay kajang is a must. I ate quite a lot. Really enjoyed it and all that thanks to Usopp's family. Then the next day which is my last, day I went to Klang. Usopp's parents wanted to buy winter wear clothes, so this place has it. Actually this place that I mention is Bukit Tinggi Jaya Jusco. Wonderful time, we had there. Me and Usopp when to the arcade and was wondering should we really play what we did best, Time Crisis or play a new game. Suddenly my eyes get caught of a new game. A hitting Gong following to the tune. The songs selection are unique ranging from Doraemon theme song to Naruto's opening song. We played, taking the easiest level and hit the gong. We gathered quite a few spectators already and decided to play a harder one and we, once again did our best to give a good show. Hehe, we craved for more, so Usopp bought some tokens and I waited for our turns to play again. We did, but sucked at it. Don't really know why. Maybe we chose a hard song to play. Night, we ate with family at mamak stall and then they sent me to the bus station. End of story. Wonder If I can do this again. Thanks a lot Usopp.

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Mesmerize

What's with the picture you might ask? It's the Hari Santai that we did around 3-4 days before SPM. Who wants to santai when you need to study hard for the SPM, the big examination. Well, I did have my little bit of fun being there. Hanging out with friends at the beach is really something. This is one of the homeroom playing beach volley ball, versus my other friend's homeroom. Quite fun watching them. I'd love to participate, but since my body won't allow it, so I take refuge in watching and cheering for them. (What an excuse, :P) I joined the homeroom mate to go and cook something up for the rest. After all the sweat and hard work, we finally get to eat. But then again, I smell bad and smokey. Yep. I don't mind though.

Really, If I could do this again, I would do it again giving my 100%. And yes, that would be my last time as a class president giving orders to the classmates when going out as in a whole classroom. I sometimes miss my own class although I loathe some of the people there. Not really loathe, but something of "not fond of". The boys, some of them are really great. I didn't meant not to like you guys, but sometimes you guys have been too much to me. I know I sometimes (or almost every time) that I've been bad, and I'm very sorry about it. I really do. I would never forget that incident, never it will cross out my pitiful mind. Sorry, I'm not vengeful or anything, just being careful of what might happen to me again someday. Haha, I really don't mind :P. The girls, almost all of them had done something good for me. Love them. The good memory, will kept dear inside my artificial heart.

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."
- Sent by Donna Roberts

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Mindful Thoughts

I really wonder some things sometimes. I wonder if I'll be able to keep these friendship that I established when I first enter the MJSC. I mean, they live far, far away from me and most of them did not live near my place at all. This makes me really sad whenever I think about it. I just want to have fun with them again. Just this one time, which I wish that the time would stop, so I can continue to have fun with them...forever. I never felt this before when I was schooling in my old school. Maybe the thought that I will be able to see them next year, and the fact that they did live near my house makes me less appreciative of them. I'm not really a good friend myself if you asked me.

I'm trying my best to. To be a good friend, a reliable one. I miss them so bad, my old friends. I wish I could hang out with you guys more often. I'm so sorry. Thinking about it again makes me wonder. I'm more appreciative of my newer friends at MJSC rather than what I should be of my old friends at my old school. Silly me. Hostel life. Yes, hostel life have thought me to be more appreciative of the people surrounding you. The only reason that I miss my newer friends, is I live with them. Even after school hours I have to meet them every single day, moment, time. You named it. (Not that I hate it.. Sometimes yes, to certain people :|) I love you guys.

Nunis, you've been a whole great of a buddy. You really did make me lot happier whenever I'm down. Qayyum, although you're sometimes a pain in the butt (almost of time,to be PRECISE :P), you're still encouraging me in it's own unique way, although it's very very rare to hear this man say words of encouraging coming out from him. Radzi , the little kid who likes to taunt people. I love his taunts, actually. (Don't tell him, or he might taunt me more :)). Nadiah (Anney), I love her ways. She always cared for others, and the others is including me. I'll always have a place in my heart for you. Thanks, girl. Aisya, I love listening to her woes. Whenever she needs help, I'll be happy to lend a hand. This were all based on friendship. Nothing more or less. The FAYNATIC'S. You guys been amazing. Your support, trust, love.. I'll cherish it, deep inside my heart. This is for you guys! My friend, my world. I'll be alone without you.

"Make new friends and keep the old, one is silver and the other gold"

"I can trust my friends. These people force me to examine, encourage me to grow."

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Getting Anew of Yourself

Hullo, this would be my first time typing for the blog. Hmm, I wonder what I should really write, you know, to attract people to come here? Why would ask you guys? Hrmm, good question, really. Well, I don't know, as writing something (or typing :P) could be very subjective sometimes. For instance, if you see someone getting into a car, you might say it's his car, but the awful, flat truth is that, it's not even his, and he might even stole it. When I write this, people may assume many things. They may say it's full of bullshit and crap sort of things. Others may say that's it's worth to read. Others wont even bother to look up the internet (God, what era I'm in again?). Still, that's how life works with you. You may be deciphered wrongly by others, but take it, but don't sulk about it. Life is unfair. Just live it and you'll make it.

Hearing this from me isn't very encouraging isn't it? Haha, I know, I know. I've been through life as well. The hostel life of MJSC have thought me to be a damn good survivor. You have to play along nicely the game and yet be cunning about it, to be the manipulator, or to be manipulated. But, when I remember it back then, I miss that kind of life. It's very enthralling, actually. Back to the topic again, I remember back then when I befriended a good friend of mine. We were quite close that people think nonsense of us ( We're still close by the way :P). That's why I'm saying that life is unfair and yet subjective in it's own way. How come the people be so judgmental about our close relationship when they, outsiders, don't know the real truth and reasoning. They did say, people are afraid of what they don't know. Then know us. We're not afraid of telling the truth. This did happen when I'm in MJSC. I nearly lost him to the stupid rumours . What gives.

Still, I'm living through it. And I still breathe about it. I survive these words for wars. So, I'm restarting (reboot, for a computer nerd, hehe :p) for a new kind of me, who can easily detect a precious ally, worthy companion, and wonderful comrade, between a monstrous enemy, damned back-stabbers, and great liars. I won't stand anymore when I'm being pushed around. This time I'll do the pushing instead. (But, really?) Nope. I will be neutral. So, I can survive. I will start a new with new glimmers of hopes and reality to blend with the mindful bearings of the past.

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