Quitting What's Bad

This post is mainly about a dear friend of mine, whose age is the same as me. We entered the same high school together at Form 4 but I never ever talked to him or even get close enough to know him. He was an ex-MRSM by the way. The very reason is that, at that particular time, ex-MRSMs was a taboo word for us Govs. Until that fateful day the taboo word had changed into my miracle melody, which the wardens had decided to mix our rooms so that each room will have ex-MRSMs and Govs. At first, I was afraid of the idea of having to share rooms with ex-MRSMs. You know, their glance and stare was killing me. (Yes, I may sound stupid :P) After a while, I got close to my roommates and we become very close except that particular one. (Sorry, tak nak mention who's the person lah :P) Now back to the main person that I was talking about. Even after the mixture, I rarely spoken to him. Why I didn't speak to him at all? Simple, I've got no reason to.

*Note*This next paragraph may or may not to certain eyes, that somehow sounds weird. I want to make it clear that, this feelings that I had are only based on friendship. I felt the same way to all of my friends.

Then it came. Form 5 life. I was having a bit of trouble with my classmate at that time. So, I need an escapade. I need to take refuge, from someone, mainly from a friend. My current friends aren't really helping. (Sorry guys! :P) And that's when my eyes strike him. He had this brotherly figure that attracts me (not sort of that attraction, please bear that in mind :D) to be his friend. I know him already since we were in Form 4, but never would I had spoken to him. Suddenly, I just rose up from my chair and talk to him. And that is the start of our beautiful friendship. (told you, it's gonna sound weird!) So, I got to know him a lot more. He is really a brotherly figure friend. He likes to play with kids and he never gets tired from playing with them. And that's the thing that attracts me the most as me, myself is the youngest child in the family. He treated me like I was a kid myself, and that made me feel damned spoiled which feels a lot like home. Although the feelings just ephemeral, still it had made me feel at home which I was missing so badly. Sadly enough, behind that brotherly figure, hold the darkest secret that I don't really know.

He is a smoker. He smokes a lot, whether in the MRSM or outside. That cold, harsh fact slapped me hard on the face and my impression on him. It saddens me to know that your good friend is doing something that can be considered (or really is XD) stupid, and you as a friend couldn't do a single thing to stop him. So, I confront him. I give my advice. He just listened as if I was talking nonsense to him. The more he did that to me, the more I will continue. I was very determined to make him quit smoking, if not, reduce the amount of cigarettes intake. Even the young ulama's in our school, uztaz, and teachers had been giving lectures about this. Still, it had no effect on him whatsoever. I was so frustrated at him. All of my efforts are being washed away in the drain. The more I advice, the more space he created between us. A solitude gap that is made between two strangers. He's avoiding me whenever I want to talk to him. So, afraid of losing him as a friend, I stopped and be silent. I rather not loose a friend. Not anymore.

After the spm examination, we, students went back home. He was enrolled to PLKN/NS during the holiday which I teased him a lot about it. We still contacted each other mostly during weekends lah when his hand phone was returned back to him. My weekend ends Saturday and his starts Saturday, by the way. So, on one fine day which is Sunday morning, I got a call. It was from him. I answered it, while yawning and my head aching. (Kes tidur terlebih :P)We talked and update about each other. Suddenly, I heard these words which I never thought I would hear it from his mouth. Since I stop giving lectures to him.

He said "Chom, you know what? Aku nak stop naro." Then there is silence.
*Note naro is another word for smoking created by the smokers in the MRSM to avoid the narrow eyes of those watching and staring.

And I was speechless. What in the earth and heavens had made him uttered those words? Well, Alhamdullilah! I then said "Well, good for you lah, make sure your going for it" So, the call ended there. I was thrilled and was thanking to Allah S.W.T because He had finally listen to my prayers. So after that, I texted him, giving the encouragement and tips on how to really quit. And now, I could only pray to Allah S.W.T, so that he have the strength to pull it off this time. And that's how I fight smokers around me. Luckily, I'm not born into a family whose dad or brothers (or maybe even sisters) that smoke. If you guys have any family members, relatives, friends or acquaintances that smoke, please don't ever give up on them like I did halfway. They need you to show the way and your support to pull it through. I know it now, because I found one to guide.

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TAG ME NOT!?

Syazana adn Amii and Abang P(ower) (sorila.. lambat nya aku nk reply) had tagged me for what reason, I can't tell. I will do my best! *shining eyes* By the way, who the heck in the world started this tag thingy?

Rules:

1. Do tag and answer all the questions on your own blog.

2. Delete question no.20 and add one of your questions instead.

3. Tag 8 victims to do this.

Questions:

1. What was your dream when you were a small kid?

Sudah. Err, I can't really remember. Oh, wait! I remembered. I wanna be a part of the Power Rangers team and destroy evil. And at that time, hearing the red ranger saying "Justice Wins" was like a"whoaaa" for me. Sweet!

2. What is the happiest thing in your whole life?

Being the youngest in the family (sometimes it's not that good, but most of the times yeah :) ), having went to MRSM (despite I don't wanna really go) and met new, exciting and various people (like Syazana and Najah(I put your name hahah :D) to name a few) , friends yang selalu lepak at my room (TC08) and lastly, being born as a muslim. (wah..)

3. What do you wish to have right now?

The ability to make good friends to stay together and be near me whenever I need them. (anime influence namely Law of Ueki)

4. When was the last time you laughed?

When I watched my niece dancing (or more like shaking her body). It was fun :)

5. What did you realize recently?

That my second sister, Kak Ipa was in a better shape. Thank god.

6. Which bad habit of you that is most unacceptable?

Finding all food related to ephemeral sweetness is a must-eat.

7. When you are unhappy, what will you do?

Lie on the bed and put some music on, after that day-dream a little until I sleep. Done.

8. What are you afraid of losing?

My family and friends. Not forgetting my mp3 player and phone. Oh, that PS2 counts as well. :P

9. Within 5 years, which target is the most realistic one?

Losing some weight? Hahaha. Tertiary Educationlah!

10. When you meet someone you like, will you confess or hide your feelings?

Depends. If I like someone, I will just hide it and act cool. Wait for the right time and strike one! Why would I suddenly met someone and just confess "Hi, I like you, what-ever-your-name-was?

11. List out 3 kind of people you hate the most.

Hate? Hate? I don't really know why would I hate people so much. Nah, I just keep forgetting what others had done to me. So I rarely hate people.Oh, kind of people? Back stabbers, Hypocrite, and big liars.

12. Define Loneliness.

When you feel you're left out from some activities out there. (when your friends went out without you :p)

13. Are you satisfied with yourself now?

Likely, yes.

14. When is the most recent time you felt touched?

When watching Bersamamu -TV3. This family saddens me and it slapped me back into reality saying that Malaysia isn't all that good like the upper people had been rambling about.

15. Where is the most beautiful place that you've visited?

Paris, France. (Got Disneyland!)

16. A song that is playing in your mind recently?

Adeh, my friends' song. Delude-Hello Future. I can't help it. It's catchy. XD

17. If you have a wish come true, what is it?

Err, being extremely richer than Bill Gates.

18. Do you have anything to worry or be scared about recently?

Driving cars and SPM results! (Dengar kata nak kluaq awai.. >_<)

19. If the world is going to end, what will you do?

Die like the others and maybe confess to that someone.

20. (Me Special) How do you describe life as you've been now?

Life is a repeated cycle where sometimes there are surprises waiting for you. (So, it's not really a cycle lah.. -_-|||)

Uhh, I tagged Irfan, Syasya, Aiman Monster and every other else who think they needed to be tagged.

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Uncle Day Care

Mak left my niece with me when I was watching television in my bedroom. I wasn't shocked at all by mak's doing. I'm used to mak doing surprise visits to my room. She never, I repeat NEVER knocked on the bedroom door before entering (as a sign she's coming in lah, not like boss-servant one :P). She barged in and dropped my niece, Ain (by the way is 1 yr old).

I looked at mak. She was blank as a paper. "Nah, ambik sat jaga. Mak nak pi solat sat." I tried to say something but mak already shut the door.

Mak memang macam ni tau! Taking one deep breathe, I looked at Ain and just stare at her, wondering what should I do to entertain her as she's just one little angel in disguise.She stared back at me effortlessly make the face she always did to get out from tight situation.It is that I-know-I'm-cute-but-please-don't-make-it-so-obvious-by-staring-at-me look. I laughed and she burst with laughter as well.

I think hard and was thinking how to make she fell contented with fun stuffs. So I just play the Cak-Cak with her until she ignored me. She IGNORED me? (Am I that suck of an uncle? =_=) At first she was laughing hard. Soon, the laughing became a lot more quite and lastly she made a boring face at me. New ideas! Come on! So, I took my handphone and turn on some music. She looked at me and smile happily. She was dancing to the tune. I was relieved. Not long after, she turned on her monstrosity side and started to make mess in my room. I was just like a helpless old lady whose cats had been slaughtered mercilessly. I could only watch as my magazines, papers and books had been taking damages from her ravishingly saliva. Uh nope. Not a good sign. So, I crawled behind her and sneak her onto my bed. She screamed and hit me in the face. It was a good hit. Nasib baik tak lebam. So I laid her next to me and she started to torture me with her sharp nails. (Kak Ayu, what did I told you? Kepit kuku dia time dia tidoq! >_<) She scratch my nose and hit it. She also pick my nose for no reason and laughed. After being tortured, Mak come again and picked her up. I'm relieved! :Sighs: Naseb baik tak buat extra work. I don't wanna be an Uncle whose tied to take care of his nieces and nephews (coming more soon). By the way she's a monster disguising as an angel. Not that she really IS a monster, just that she likes to make mess and do all the physical stuffs Letih woih! After all that, I was dreaming one day, what if I ended up opening up an "Uncle Day Care" for kids? I will hire some guys (preferably great with kids) to take care of the kids. So guys, sapa-sapa nak antar? MRSM and KSAH members get discount. I know you want to send yours Syazana! Hahaha.. Just kidding. I'm not all that great with kids, you know being the adik of the family.

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Driving Success

"Adik, bangun lekaih!" ayah knocked upon my bedroom door, three times. I searched for my phone, it was 7.02 a.m. "Satla, nak bangunla nih!" I replied while struggling to get out of my bed. (wah, i'm called adik at home.. can't help it? I am A adik. cute what? Hahaha :P) Today is another day for me to learn driving. Yesterday, I was learning driving as well. My legs had been aching since the first driving lesson. I couldn't even walked normally (like I always did? -_-||| that's normal.) Well, you can't help it if you got big body, big thighs, big legs, and big.. big..(got the whole picture of me being BIG? >_< Ahaha XD) everything's big, dang it. And the kancil car being so small and timid, minor compared to other cars. It's got this small window, small door, small seat, small radio case, (conclusion IS: it's small :D) and I'm being big and all isn't helpful either. So, taking refuge, I just cramped my legs until the knees barely touched each other in order to make myself smaller (which obviously don't change the fact I'm being big).

Firstly the instructor drove me somewhere near a temple. Then he stop at the side of the road. Suddenly he said "Lekas, Amar. Kluar dari keleta." (Amar... -_-|||.. It's Akmal lah uncle!) I oblige to what he had ordered me to do. "Masuk tmpet driver cepat!" he said to me half screaming. What the heck pagi-pagi buta nak marah-marah pulak? I rushed in. "Cepat, bawak saya pergi Ilmu Baru" he ordered me again. "Huh!?" I was stunned. I was ordered to drive on the real road, with real cars until we arrived at Ilmu Baru (my driving institute *roll eyes*). It was like 7km away from my current position. (maybe I'm exaggerating :P) So I drive like I own the road (yeala, people was being considerate since the L sign was up :P) I was driving with the gear 1 for quite some time already and until uncle(whose name doesn't bother me as much as it bothers me for him not knowing to pronounce my name) scream at me again for not shifting the gear. I stammered. How to shift the gear while it's on the road and when exactly I HAVE to SHIFT the gear? He just said "Tekan clutch sampai habis and tukaq gear tu!!" I just do as I was told to. The car stammered a little. It worked right? Nevertheless, I did arrive at Ilmu Baru safely. Lucky me. :Sigh:

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Suharto - In the Honor

I'm taking this opportunity to give my sincerest sympathy to Indonesia's late 2nd Prime Minister, Allahyarham Suharto's family for the loss of Prime Minister Suharto recently. He passed away recently at 1.10 p.m (local time) because of organ failure at 27th January. His loss will be a great pain for anyone who were close to him and to anyone who knew what he did for his own country. I hope this loss will bring a new strength for his family members to go on with their lives. Now, muslims, let us recite Al-Fatihah to him and pray that his soul will rest in peace and he will be placed among the souls that is loved by Allah S.W.T.

I will take this opportunity to mention bits about what he did to Indonesia.

• 32 years of ruling Indonesia
• Building up the Nation
• Ended the "Ganyang Malaysia"

With that, I honor Suharto for what he did selflessly for his own people and country to make sure that they develop into a nation like it is right now.

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Delude Innershine

It's the band that my friends had created, well, long long ago and finally they have their own song. Founded(when ah, amar?) near 2005,(i assumed so), this band consists of my friends, Amar, Pogee,(Gee) Shahier, Paridzul(PK) and Haikal. Please, if you have time, why don't you guys to their new song. It's doesn't hurt. :P

Delude Myspace

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Retake of The Lives pt. 2

*Important notice, all that I've said are only my sincerest opinion and thoughts that I have during the school time. If, you, were somehow mentioned and opinionated, and that opinion is somehow had provoked your inner theater of angriness, then I'm so sorry.* Hahaha, I don't really mean it. really.

Last time, I wrote all about me and my daily things that I did around in MRSM from dusk until school time. It's quite a story isn't it? I mean not a day went by without my friends. (Ya la, you live in A BOARDING SCHOOL, DUH!) Well, here we go, I'll continue if you may..

514 Crazy Moment

After Bahasa Melayu class (now that Cikgu Hikmah insisted that it's now Bahasa Malaysia :D), my another favorite class, English lesson. Yes! I like English and that all thanks to Kak Ayu lah for bringing me some Harry Potter books while I was still in primary school (was it Standard 3 or 4 and Harry Potter was phenomenal back then and still phenomenal even now :) ), or I wouldn't like English at all. Here came our favorite English teacher famous for her slang and style, Ms (now Madam, she got married this year, congrats) Sue. She likes to give us assignment especially essays and mostly the theme will be LOVE. (Dang it! Not again.) And there will be this particular girl who will always steal the eyes of any English teacher in maktab for her superbly-wide-vocabulary and her superbly-grinning-like smile(now to think of it, I kinda see the reflection of a fox there for a second.. :P). It's our prime minister for the school's debate team, no other than Wan Safiyyah Nurnajah bt. Wan Ahmad Tajuddin. (that's mouthful, just kidding XD) I like her for her essays, her thoughts of certain things, her wide knowledge (which I assume she got if from intense reading) and her sense of justice. I remember back then when she would sit together with this group of people mostly consisted of Sarah Atikah, Irwan, Bella and me(sometimes) and discuss about things that covers from Napoleon to Nazi's leader, Hitler. Another good knowledge to be added to my head. Next hopping to another good friend of mine, named Anne. Real name is Nur Nadiah Zainal Ariff. She's the type who cares for her friends and will always do her best to cheer them up. I like her way calling me especially when she's angry with something (Chooom..... *makes a grunting face*)Whenever she has problems, I will be the one to lend my ears. And when I have problems, well, I don't have the mouth to voice it out to anyone. That, is the big reason why she insisted me to tell her my problems. "Chom, lain kali cerite lah masalah kau jgnlah pendam!" I frankly replied "Aku suka pendam." She replied "pendam, pendam.. tu la yg besar tu!" I just laughed. She's also so particular on what I ate. That's a BIIIIG problem for me. I remembered back than that I used to smuggle K.Pah's nasi lemak in my bag just not to let her see it. Well, thanks for caring though.

514 girls :)

*Kriiiing* *Kriing* The school bell rang. I quickly packed my things and hurried to the next class where 515 is. "Naim, Izzat jumla pi makan!" We, three walked towards the DS and there we met the others, Aiman, Pipo, Faris, Yen and Syauqan. We ate together on the same table (for like every lunch, every dinner and every supper..sounds wrong isn't it)and took this time to update about each other. Then comes to prep petang(which is the prep time that I don't like at all.). It's very challenging and you needed to overcome your inner wanting whenever it came to prep petang. Oh well, when you're tired after spending the whole morning in the class, you wouldn't want to go back to class in the evening, am I right? Well, never the less, I always go to prep petang never missed one(which is A BIG FAT lie.. :P). I remembered back then, when I was so lazy, that I wanna skipped prep petang so bad and had to cancel it when the voice of Cikgu K.B could be heard from the green square. She was screaming and yelling like a mother who had lost a child. Upon hearing her screaming mad, I quickly dressed up and head towards the class. I don't care even if she yelled and jumped right at me, as long I can laid my head on the table in the class.

514 raya time.

Now it's evening, time for activities, where my activities are various, ranging from snoring, sleeping soundly, playing UNO cards and talking and chatting. Sound like a total loser right. Ahaha, you can't blame me for acting such way. Next is maghrib prayers, where I would gather with friends at the back of surau, boy's part. After the maghrib prayer, we will gather at the back of surau to chat and study some subjects before examination. And there, I will hear voices of the girls, though I can't barely recognized which is which. (I did remember hearing Anne and Najah though, where Anne told me to senyap skit! I just laughed and syhhh at her back :D) After some tazkirah, given by our young ulama's (if there's none will just do our own things) we head straight to our own classes and night prep begins.

I'm pretty sleepy right now... :yawns: Got some driving to do tomorrow.

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Retake of The Lives pt. 1

Hello, guys! I don't know what's got into me lately as some of my posts are considered quite serious. I mean, I've been talking about the news that happened recently in Malaysia, my own stories and my damn serious thoughtful thoughts, and my own bamboozled perspectives about certain things which to me and others are not that important to be rambled about. Still I want to get a piece of it exposed to others. Weird rambling this time huh? And I also know that recently I've been mentioning how I miss my school days and the moments like "Cikgu Hikmah dah datang! Cepat masuk posisi masing-masing!!!" and "Dah, bunyi dah wisel tu.." It's funny how you as a still-schooling teenager would do anything, I mean particularly ANYTHING (remind me and my friends a lot :P) including hiding in the toilet, behind water tanks to places you cant even imagine just to survive living in hostel. Let me start, my own daily cycle of life. (what I do around MRSM Hehehe :) ) It was end-year 2007...

"Knock! Knock!" the pink door (wait a minute, PINK!!? Isn't this guy's hostel?) of my room opened up. Someone switch on the lights. My eyes opened up abruptly. I looked around searching for the culprit who interrupted my beauty sleep. (obviously at the door lah! Where else? ;P) It was non other the famous HEP for his line "dosa dan noda",Pak Lam (short name for Hj. Roslam) He looked me with a sinister look on his face.

"Ni aper nih? Tak cukup katilker nak kene share nih? Awat? Maktab tak pruntukkan cukup katil ker?" - he said frankly with a big grin on his face.

Such evil look from your own teacher? I, struggling to keep my eyes open, were quite confused to what he was referring to. "Was he going senile at such early age?" I asked myself. Suddenly, I realised something! I was having trouble last night because somehow I felt the bed was smaller than usual. (or it's just that I'm getting bigger? and that's quite some possibility :D) There was this snoring sound next to me. I turned around and to my damn own surprise, it was Qayyum. Heck, when did he turn up next to me? Whatever, so I tried wake him up but to no avail and he said "Laterlah, aku nak tido skit lagi nih" Ignoring him, I reached for my colourful towel and my bathing basket and headed towards. As I wear my shoes, Ucop said "Tunggulah!" I looked at him and laughed. "Kau lambat sgt asal!?" and rushed towards the toilet. I went in and they were large crowd of people waiting in line to take their time to have a bath. For us, bathing time is like a battlefield, where the stronger side will win the fight for a place in the bathroom. I'm being on the loser side, retreated away from the form 5's bathroom and signaled Ucop to follow me to the Form 4's bathroom. He understood very well what I'm saying without me needing to speak. We've got this special bond as roommates. Hehehe :P (not that kind of bond lah! We're just best buddies in the same room) Going into the Form 4's bathroom, I looked somewhat mighty and brave for someone who doesn't know his place. XD You can't help it if you are seniors. After bathing up, I return to my room leaving Ucop behind as he always took the time to bath. (see, we're not having that kind of bond Hehe :D) Qayyum wasn't on my bed when I returned so I assumed he's already in the bath roomlah. He's always late. Well, not my problem, really. So, I dressed up and quickly hurried up to surau and have my subuh prayer together.

Finish the subuh prayers, all the boys rushed toward the DS. Avoiding the peak traffic myself, (tell me, Do you want to line up early in the morning, looking half sleepy while waiting for your food? No I don't. I rather sleep on the table!) I went back to my room and saw that Qayyum rushed towards the surau. Dude, org dah abis solat dah. Before that I met chimok on of my roommates and asked him,"DS makan aper?" He said "koey teaw goreng! sedap oo" I lokked at him and he quickly laid on the bed, closing his eyes. I sit on my bed and was thinking should I sleep a little before 7 o'clock? Well, time is forgiving sometimes, so I slept back. :). It's already 7 a.m. My watch told me so as it ringed it's alarm. I woke up and woke the other roommates. The whole room slept back? I thought I was the only one who were that sleepy. Well, you can't blame me. I can't sleep very well last night. Well, can't actually blame others though. (QAYYUM!!!!! You're so DEAD MEAT! I so gonna give you a piece of my mind!) After doing some last-minute touch up, I hurried over to DS and to my own surprise, the students didn't finish up the koey teow goreng up. And the kakak DS isn;t around SO, BUFFET TIME! I hurried and take a plate and filled my plate until it's damn full. Well, if I don't eat them, the DS team (Team? Man, you gotta have better vocabs for this so-called TEAM) gonna throw away all of them. I mean why throw them away while you can just give it to the homeless kids and guys at the street, but who would have the pleasure time in their hands to simply drive a car and "Hi" a stranger that they never ever met before, and dropped a pack of koey teow goreng? I simply don't even if I could. While I was enjoying my food with my friends (mostly Ucop and Naimlah, we're the trio of roommates whom liked to eat later and avoid the huge crowd craving for food as if they haven't eaten for three days.) Duh? It's just regular breakfast, why fight for it? It's not like you're not gonna eat breakfast if you we're pushed away from the counter. People, this is NOT Zimbabwe! We're not people living in a country where foods are scarce! We people live in the country where people eat too much until they die. Come on. Think lah. Pak Lam appeared at the DS door. I took a glance and signaled my friends to hurry up. I took my sliding bed and passed through followed by my friends mentioned earlier next to Pak Lam, looking blank. He just smiled. That's not a good thing is it? Well, whatever.

Then the roll call. It's the same repeated stuff that we had to do day by day. Cikgu Hamid giving us the spirit to follow our dreams and Pak Lam (again..) scolding us about breaking the rules and particularly being late to roll call, where his eyes lingered and perfectly laid it's sight on me. I sheepishly smiled. Well, Pak Lam, I'm not the only one who's late for the roll call. Some didn't even turned up. I'm better than them right? So stop giving me the credit I don't deserve already. The roll call ended before the time for the first class. We all, hurried to our own class room. "Assalamualaikum!" I greeted the class. Some of them answered while others seemed not to bother much. Well, it's morning. You can't be too energetic about it neither you can be about school. Syakirah came to me. "Chom, kelas bersepah nih! Suruh la orang bertugas kemaskan!" I looked at her and then at the schedule which listed the names that are supposed on duty. No wonder she's making a fuss about it at me as...it was ME who needed to throw away the rubbish away. Being late, I didn't have the time to throw away the rubbish early in the morning. To make the nagging stop (mcm mak aku jer.. I said to myself) , I took the rubbish bin and showed it to her. I smiled, more like grinning. "Chom, aper nih!!!" she screamed. I laughed. I wasn't having any ill thoughts in my head. I throwed it away and the teacher we're already on her way to my class, so I hurried over to the class. "Woih, cikgu dah datang dah!!" The class became silence as I uttered those magic words. It was Cikgu Hikmah. I really like this teacher! Why? She's simply it. She's not young neither she was too old. Whenever she came to school, she will always wear this special set of theme lah. If the theme today were pink, she will wear a pink tudung, pink pattern of flowers on her baju kurung, not mentioning those beads on her tudung, and this pearl necklace she's wearing and her pink high heels. Conclusion? So vogue-like for a teacher. "Bangun Semua!" Everyone obeyed. "Assalamualaikum murid-murid." We all answered her salam. She began to teach and suddenly, "Akmal! Boleh tolong tak?". Of course I MUST can! I'm the president of the class. Saying no to a teacher is a NO-NO! That's my principle . Sometimes other teachers will asked other classmates as they know I took time doing simple chores. You can't help it if you're big and all. :P

And back to my table which consists of 4 people. In front of me is non-other the most shrewd, bullying witch, named Sarah Atikah. Yet, she's still lovable in her own way. I like picking fights with her, because she's just so fun to pick a fight with. I like friends with her. Next to me is Suriani Harun. She is this short girl who looks like she was still in primary school but have the aura of maturity in her. She's like this mak-mak which is a good friend to have indeed. I like her as she shares the same interest with me. Animes, Japan, and Korean movies. Now, the finale. The one and only nerd I found walking on earth right very front of me eyes. (just kidding syazana :P) Syazana! She's not that nerd. It's just that she tends to stuck her face in the book she was reading as show of great interest. I can see that Syazana! This girl is so great to have fun with. I mean, not one of my days went by without me hearing her frank expressions. She's just great. Not just that she's smart, she's also loveable. (Am I being too much? Hahaha :P) The boys that I'm closed to are Syamil a.k.a Billy and Taufiq (Sarah's ehem-ehem) a.k.a taiko. They're my place to release the tension and stress. Syamil's funny when he's not around Aisya. You know, mood changed. Funny mode to romance mode. (Hahaha, sorry Aisya :D) Taufiq was a joker as well. Especially that time in the remedial classes for add maths. He mention the 1150 N thingy. It was my, how should I say it... -_-|||

That's pretty much I can type for now. I will resumed my writing tomorrow. I'm sleepy. :yawns:

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Caressing the Sky

Moments ago, I've realised something. I haven't updated much of my entry for this blog. Well, you can't help it if there's no story to tell to the readers. Why no stories you asked? Well, it's just I haven't done anything that is worth story telling. Talking nonsense now are we? :P I've also realised just now how I loved being a high school student although the fact is I hated being one when I'm one. Understood? Hahaha :) Now everything is clear. I really missed the moments as a student who is required to wear school uniforms to the school. The strict order. I miss them. Thinking about the school, I browse my pictures in the computer. Not much of them can be called candid as mostly the people in there just sit and pose nicely for the camera. Hmm, it somehow strips away the fun from the school seeing that all of my pictures were somehow looked very serious and all. Here, a few pictures that I had taken while I'm in MRSM! Enjoy.

Hmm, you'll guys see lots of food. It's not me who took it. (now, now dont get any ideas now.. :P) These are some of the moments that I cherished being a student. The part you need to do homework and where you can't finish it, you seek your friends for help. The part joking and kidding during prep hours. The part where you sleep in lectures. (I did it a couple of times ;P still I will always be caught. Wonder why?) I mean there are a lot of other people in the lecture hall that were snoozing. Of all people it had just to be me. Hahaha :) Life as a teenager never could be fun than being in school and having fun with friends. Miss that moment a lot!

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Hello Future - Delude

Delude - Hello, Future.

It's still new (I guess so) and worth it. Well, it's a new band formed by my buddies(not sure of how many of them in the band :P) still worth listening to. Please take your time listening and help us which means me a music lover,them a new band in the making and our new music industry to a higher level by leaving a comment and message. Please we don't need your condemnation but your utmost support in this matter. Thanks a lot readers!

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Updating and Refreshing Thoughts

Yeah, it's been a long day for me today. A few days later, one of my buddies, Faridzul (PK or Sam is it?) had asked me whether I wanted to join and hangout with him and other few of my buddies. It's been a long time since I last met them. Nearly 1 and a half years is it? (well, after I started studying at MJSC lah). So, I quickly agreed. And today we went out together. They did said that they will wait for me at Pak Hainan. I hurried over and to my surprise, they already ordered something to drink. Did I took that long? Amar and the others looked quite happy to see me. Fauzi was so keen to hear an update of my life, so he's been asking many things. I just answered them :) .

Pojey and PK

Me and Amar

Shaheir and Amar

The first thought that crosses my mind is that, they've changed. 1 year and a half and my buddies changed a lot. Not the way that I found it obnoxious or anything. It's just they've grown taller. Each and everyone of them, leaving me short as I had always been. What did they eat huh? Even Fauzi's taller than me. Shahier and PK was no exception. Amar was higher than me as well. They didn't when we were form 3. I felt somehow left out from the group. Well, I shouldn't actually, because it's just a trivial matter. Would you leave your long made friends just because they're a bit different? Well, I wont. They're my long made friends. I cant find a replacement for each of them as they have a special place in my heart! :) (Sounds weird huh?) Later, we decided that we should go somewhere else. Either jamming or bowling? I'm fine with both options. So, we went to a studio somewhere for a jamming session. This is the first time that I've been in a jamming session with my buddies as I've never followed them to one before. What for? I couldn't even read notes or play anything at all.

PK(Bassist) and Fauzi (Drummist)

Shahier (Guitarist)

Amar (Vocalist and Guitarist)

These guys are amazing and they can really play, I mean every song that they played sounds like the original one. And PK can make any kind of voice, and it's quite fun actually. Meet uncle hussein, MCR, and Muse are some of the songs that I recognized actually. Well, after that we went to Star Parade and eat lunch? (it's already 4.45 o'clock) -_-||| . After that we went our separate ways. It's been a long day and I wish we can do this more often! :P

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Mean Stupidity

When I read about Syazana's list of stupid things that she did when she was a kid,(I assumed so..If it's not, then -_-||| ) it makes me wanna do a list of stupid things of my own. It's kinda funny reading it over and over again. Not that I'm laughing at her in a mean way. It's just that I remembered being a kid myself doing all these stupid things without even realising it. Well, I can't really remember much still I can list a few things that I did which I considered it VERY stupid myself. Well, you can't really expect a kid who still needs help to eat or drink to do things that can be considered genius.

1. Hmm, when I was around 3++ years old, I remembered asking my Kak Ifa for some water to drink as I was very thirsty. Kak Ifa sternly said that she was busy with something.(at that time she was 10 yrs old, what can she possibly be busy with? :P) Looking desperate, I took my favorite green cup, and went outside of the house to the nearest drain. The stupid thing I did? Taking the water from the drain to be drink. Luckily, abang was there to stop me or else. Who knows?
2. When we were still kids (that is my siblings), we used to fight over for the television. One day, abang lost and he was sulking heavily about it. I followed him into the bedroom where he lay out a kain sarong and put all of his clothes in it. He tied the sarong making a bundle of clothes in it. Then he went outside and hop onto his bike ready to fled away from the home. The stupid thing I did? I waved goodbye to him and said that we will meet again. And we did meet again after my sisters went after him at the front gate. :P
3. When I was still a kid, I remembered having a cat named Tony, (named after Tony the Tiger cereal) I loved that cat and have a fashion sense going on. To test it, I've got the best subject. The cat itself. One day, taking a pair of scissors I quickly caught the cat. The stupid thing I do? Cut the mustache of the cat. The cat scream ( I supposed so) and I still added something to his misery by shaving some of his fur. Abang later came and look at the cat, which looked half dead after hours of playing barber with him. Look on me? Satisfied.
4. One day I learned a new letter from my mother. Cirit-birit for diarrhea. So I kept repeating to myself and was contented about it. Later, we as a family went back to kampung and I was saying out loud this word. The stupid thing I did? I've somehow changed the cirit-birit into cirit-burette, which isn't a nice word to say. The best thing is, I've repeated it to all of my cousins and my tok. I felt awkward when abang said it wasn't a nice word to say.

That's all the things that I can really remember though. If I could remembered more, I would not hesitate to post some more, even though people with laugh at my stupidity. I love remembering back the things that I did I considered stupid. Haha. Kids, they're a interesting phase in life as growing up.

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Humanity Begone!?

It's getting serious nowadays. Recently we had news saying that some girl got kidnapped by a guy called "Lelaki Kucing". I wonder why we, as humans have lost our humanity. The more we live and have our lives fulfilled, the more we become less and less like a human. Once I heard a story, about a maid who works to a friend of my sister's. She is so rude to the children. I mean, she used her thumb's foot as a pacifier for the kid. She seriously stuck her ugly, smelly, hideous feet inside the child's mouth. I think the child is hungry or rather asking for some attention. What right as a human being, that the child is given a harsh treatment from the maid? What had happened to our humanity? Now, in the news we would hear about maids poisoning their employer's children and children being kidnapped. Before that, snatch thieves were as popular as Siti Nurhaliza's wedding with Datuk K., competing for an article about them in the local papers. They were might even popular than Siti at that time. I mean they came out in the news a lot more than the singer herself.

One day when I asked abang who now, magically and by God's willing (and thankful of it), had changed into a very warak person, about the sad cases that had been happening recently. He simply to me. "Akmal, oi.. Dunia ni dah tak lama dah. Tunggu masa ja kita kena seru dengan Allah s.w.t" abang said while driving the car. I looked at him, looking rather concerned what he had really meant. So, I shut my self up thinking about these cases. It saddening every time you hear the mother selflessly plead for her daughter to be brought back to her side. I prayed to got that soon the mother's burden would be lifted off from her shoulders. We, as a community, should play our parts as well. We must not point fingers, searching and accusing people who needed to be blamed. What if you who like to point fingers were in their shoes? You will experienced the same sadness and grief as they already did. I know it's easier said than done but if we really tried to make a change in our community, I think sooner or later the small changes will take it place bit by bit. Thinking about those who got kidnapped suddenly reminds me of my little niece. What if something were did to happen to her someday? I hope and prayed that the day will never come.

This is my niece!

That thought had always make me worried sick. I know, I know she's just 1 year old, but it doesn't hurt to be cautious isn't it? Well, I hope one day, that our neighbour hood would be a better and a lot safer for our kids to roam freely without without we worrying anything to happen to our children. By the way, I think Malaysia have to reduce the intake of foreign workers slowly as I believe, them being here had been a great risk to our safety especially the one that are helpless and defenseless. Yes, women and children.

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Chins Up?

Well, these past few days, I haven't done anything that worth telling. Still i heard a few sad stories from my friends. So, I hope those who had been having problems, difficulty with their lives, please remember, they're others who are much more in a terrible state than you. Just smile and chins up. There will be way to solve things. Seek help from others, your friends and families. They are there to help you. :)

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Deprived

Officially announcing that I am now damn bored even tough the connection to the internet had been connected once again. I don't really know why I felt this bored. I'm supposed to ask for a job at the 7 Eleven and boy I was very enthusiastic about it. Yet, somehow I failed to pass the application form back to the market. Talk about laziness. So, now I'm at home baby sitting my young niece for some extra cash (it wouldn't hurt, would it?). Yesterday night, I was watching this famous movie of Mike Myers' Austin Powers. I laughed at every single joke that they made. It was damned funny and it's impossible even for the cold-hearted not to laugh at their well crafted jokes. I mean, its really funny and strongly suggest that you guys watch it. And talking about my niece, I found out that kids at 1 year old have their own creative-unique minds. Well, my family and me were sitting in the living hall one night, watching "Musang Berjanggut" one of P.Ramlee's classics. And the story came to the part where the folks are singing happily. My 1 year old niece was dancing and practically singing "da..da..da.." (which I think, it's the baby's way of talking) to the tune. And yep, she was quite euphoric about it. I then sang the song. She looked and me and make a sour face. Was my singing that bad?Ayah then said "Biaqla dia dengaq lagu kat TV tu!" I then stopped and watched her, dancing happily. After she started to cry. She was hungry, I assumed?

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Connectionless

A few days ago, when I was surfing the net at midnight, suddenly, my connection went all bamboozle, the fact that I can't connect to everything that I had. My Yahoo! Messenger, Bittorrent, and mostly surfing the net. I reset my modem which is not the very best thing to do. I waited. Still, there's nothing changed. "Maybe if I wait until tomorrow, everything is gonna be alright." I thought to myself. The next morning, it was still the same. I urged Ayah to call the TM guys so that they could have a look at it. They did came the next day, but to no avail, they didn't know what to do exactly. -_-||| Why did we even bother to call the TM guys? Luckily, all is fixed, thanks to my father's friend. It turned out to be there's something wrong with my modem then. Haha. All is well.

A few days, I went living, connectionless! And now I felt how those people who didn't have internet connections in their houses feel like. I feels like you're in a very small space indeed, without friends. I felt like that because I simply depends too much on the internet to have fun!

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Down to Measure

Today, I woke up unusually early for me, that is 7.00 am. Yesterday night I slept at 2 am. I wonder to myself somehow that I manage to open up my eyes and take a bath despite. I felt damn cold that morning despite the fact that I bathed using warm water. Mak come to me and hushed me to hurry up and eat the nasi goreng that she cooked. Mak was already in her baju kurung while holding Ain, looking ready to go to work. I asked mom when you're suppose to be at your work place?

"Mak kena masuk kerja pukui lapan pagi. Cuba ang tengok jam tu? Pukui brapa dah tu!" Mak said looking worried that she wont make it.

I take a look at the clock on the wall, in the kitchen. It was 7.15 am. "Mak, awat kalut sangat nak pi awai-awai!? Bukannya tempat mak jauh! Dekatja pun" I replied, not bothering to look at Mak while enjoying the nasi goreng. The truth is that Mak was afraid that she wouldn't be in time. I said to Mak not to worry. Kedah is not like Kuala Lumpur. We don't have much traffic jams. Mak still have the worried face on. We made it to Mak's workplace and it's was just 7.40 am. Ayah then said to me "Alah, mak ang kan menang dah banyak anugerah, dia kalut la nak pi awai kalau-kalau ada orang nak rampas tempat dia!". I laughed. Yes, it's true. Mak never takes leave. Even she had some headache or fever, she still would go and do her job. She's so workaholic. Last year, she won an award, for the best worker of the year, and truth be told, she did won it for several times already. Maybe it's because the overtime that she did.

After dropping Mak at her workplace. Ayah drove me to the driving agency and dropped me there. From there, an uncle would drove me to Mergong Barrage where the big driving institution is situated. This is it! I would be driving a car today! Yes! And as my hopes are flying high it suddenly crashed as soon as the sight of a Kancil as a vehicle for learners cross my path. How I'm gonna fit in? It's..

Well, it's too small for me, and I'm big and all. You do the math. :P

Before I'm allowed to do any driving, I need to go on a theory class first. And as I suspected, it was damn boring. And the one who will be teaching me in the theory class is an ex-army, police, guerrilla, and blah blah, you named it! He was being damn strict as if we were his cadet doing his military drill thingy. Nevertheless, he was a joker but his jokes are kinda serious and it's hard for me to get it sometimes. "Ada berapa tayar pada sesebuah kereta!?" he asked half screaming. We all then said " Empat cikgu!" And his reply was " Salah! Ada 5! Tayar spare!". I just smiled while others laughed wondering if they didn't, they will get some spanking from him. After nearly tree hours of theory class. I rushed to the surau and did my prayers. After a while, I was paired up with a Chinese teacher. He was suppose to teach me all the basics of driving. He did and boy, I was having the time of my life. This guy is damn funny! I mean, the way he talks is enough to make roll on the floor laughing, but I wouldn't do that. I will be dirty with dirt and it was quite rude to that to someone who's about to teach you the art of driving. I thought he was just a driving teacher, nothing more. That thought flew away when he touch about gravity, momentum, acceleration, speed and so on.

I was quite confident to have him as my guru. But I blew the confident away when I hit the poles when I was doing a side parking. Yeah, it's hard. The look on his face was saying that he wasn't mad at me and hoped I would do better. Actually I was afraid of the other car doing the same thing as I did. Come on, this is not my car and I really wouldn't like to hit someone else's car.It was a very tiring day and yet full of fun for me.. After three hours, the uncle picked me up and sent me back to his agency. From there I went around the city plaza, looking like half idiot who looks like he needed some friends, and later, kak Ayu picked me up.

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Anatomy of Life

It's been quite a long time since I last wrote (type, duh?) in my blog. I've been busy in and out from the hospital, Sultanah Bahiyah Hospital, and really going to that place had made me feel really wonderful. Why you asked? It's because that damned hospital is really fully equipped than the hospital besar Alor Star and it has higher standard compared to the former general hospital. That makes me think and feel that someday Alor Star is gonna be so much better and have the same standards as living in Kuala Lumpur. And I hope I'm still breathing till that day comes into a reality. Actually, before saying this, I really loath having the fact that I was born in Kedah, being called "anak jati Kedah" a. k. a. Kedahan. I hate to say and confess that I'm from Kedah. When I mix with others, I will hesitate and reluctantly to admit that I'm from Kedah.

A view of the sky. Lovely isn't it?

I'm being ungrateful, I know. I was foolish back then to think that other state are doing much more better than us, Kedahan (except for Perlis, Terengganu, and Kelantan and that's a fact and no offence ok?). I know. I hated it so much that somehow I wish I'm magically transferred to somewhere else where the place is much more better(preferably Kuala Lumpur lah and areas around it:)). Yea, yea, I know. Its kinda a foolish act to hate your own origin. I've learned that fact harshly when I mingle with my friends which are from K.L. and Selangor areas. I'm not saying all of them are carrying a bad image from the places they originated from. No. Some of them, just some of them, are carrying the side story of the pitiful lives who didn't make it there. They lost the struggle between being the good, much more Islamic ways to the westerners who act accordingly to their wantings. And some of these people are my friends and I'm doing best that I can to pull them out from the endless, sinful pleasures. I' m so trapped in the illusion of being thinking that K.L and it's nearby area are the best.My friends, Ucop, Qayyum, and Taufiq are some of the names that opened up my blinded eyes. I'm so blinded. They each got a story to share and it opened up my eyes to this world.I no longer craved to say "Hi, I'm from Selangor" or "I'm from K.L, nice to meet ya!"

I slowly, regaining my pride of being a Kedahan.

And now, I'm enjoying bit by bit of what I do in Kedah. I wont be like myself used to be as I'm now very proud (and also loudly) to say "I'm made from Kedah." Yea, I know, sounds kinda corny to me. But it's something that I'm really proud of to say and not afraid of saying that to the whole world "I'm proud to be IN Kedah".

Well, I guess it's kinda true when they say, "There's nothing like home!"

Tomorrow, I'm having a practical session about driving cars. So I have to go for now. Good Night.

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Worried Sick

Yesterday evening, my grandma, tok, got sick and she couldn't move or talk like she always did. I got worried hearing the news from ayah who quickly knocked on my bedroom door and hushed me to get ready.

"Cepatla, tok ang sakit tu! Cepat pkai baju, ambik skali baju spare, kot-kot nak tido rumah tok." - ayah said.

Not that I'm naked or anything :P .I quickly got up from the plastic chair in front of the computer and get my jeans and shirt. I went to the living room, mak was having an asthma attack. How much I'm worried about tok is nothing compared to how much mak worried about tok. After all, mak is tok's daughter. Mak quickly packed things up, and hurried ayah to drive. Ayah, then scold mak as mak is worrying too much that she had an asthma attack. Kak Ayu and Abang Zaidi get their children, Ain and Amin to be ready and lastly after locking the door and the gate, we, went to Tanah Merah, Pendang. I'm quite worried. So to calm me down, I took my mp3 player and listen to the music. We got there and there tok was, lying on the bed, looking rather exhausted and less responsive of her surrounding. Ayah Mud(my uncle that is) said that tok was waiting for my family. Pak Ndak (my uncle again) said that tok had already talked about her wills. Mak's eyes got watery again. Kak Ayu and Abang Zaidi quickly decided to take tok to the hospital, but tok was reluctant to go. Aiseh, tok. Mak, me, ayah and everyone's gonna be there.

Ayah persuaded tok to come with guaranty that Mak will be the one to take care of her. Upon hearing that, tok agreed. I ride the ambulance, with tok, mak and long mid (my other uncle) inside it. It was a fun ride for me despite the fact that tok was in deep pain. She was having high blood pressure. Later we arrived and tok was treated in the emergency room. And I had been given the task of to take care of Ain. And Ain wasn't being a good girl that particular night. After waiting for quite some time, to was warded in the 7th floor, the bunga raya ward. The name kinda feels cheesy for me. After taking care of tok, I went home with ayah, kak ayu and the kids leaving mak to take care of tok as tok would like mak to take care of her. Who can blamed tok? Mak's the only daughter in the family. And now I'm worried of mak. Mak has asthma and she barely can take care of herself, now she had to take care of tok as well. I hope they're both okay.

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Misfortune, Unlucky and Dreary

I read about an entry that is made by a friend of mine about his friend, who had met with an accident recently. From what I've read, it looks like the boy is in bad situation. Not that anything that can lead death that is. Just that, when I read her entry about her friend, it somehow made me feel that I've known the boy for so long myself. Weird of me, right? The power of words, Najah. :). Although, I never know that boy before, I couldn't help myself to sympathize him even, I, myself never ever met him.

Maybe from what I've read, it made my heart felt uneasy. Why? It's because I imagined myself in the same situation where a good friend of mine met with an accident, same as Najah's. What would I do? What would I say? What would happen to him/her? These are the questions that keep rotating inside my brain. I couldn't possibly answer them because, it's simple, I never faced them before. Well, I've been in accident as well(year 2006). But it's not that terrifying at all. It's nowhere terrifying for me. One of my finger-bone cracked and it does hurt and I really wanna curse and scream that I'm in pain. It's just I cant. It's because the person who hit us (me and my brother) is much more in a terrible state than me. His family that is. His legs are broken, and his other relative, got one of his legs stuck at the car. His child, which is 8 months old, both of his legs are broken. He is only 8 months old for god's sake. The pain that the child had to endure make me shut up for the whole process of getting me out from the emergency room. Well, I've got a cracked finger and that child broke both of his legs. Should I be louder than the child and scream in pain as well? No. So I shut myself up in respect to the family who had greater loss than mine. I hope that child is okay. Me and my brother couldn't bear the guilt, even tough the accident was not our fault to begin with.

I've met with an accident, and I really hope so that my friends wouldn't. I would be really sad if they do. So don't.

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Benazir Bhutto - A Tribute

On December 2, 1988 Benazir Bhutto was sworn in as Prime Minister of Pakistan, becoming the first woman to head the government of an Islamic State.

In the preceding decade of political struggle, Ms. Bhutto was arrested on numerous occasions; in all she spent nearly 6 years either in prison or under detention for her dedicated leadership of the then opposition Pakistan Peoples Party. Throughout the years in opposition, she pledged to transform Pakistani society by focusing attention on programs for health, social welfare and education for the underprivileged.

Since assuming the office of Prime Minister, Benazir Bhutto has emphasized the need to heal past wounds and to put an end to the divisions in Pakistani society - including reducing discrimination between men and women. Ms. Bhutto has launched a nationwide program of health and education reform.

Benazir Bhutto was born in Karachi in 1953. After completing her early education in Pakistan, she attended Radcliffe College and Oxford University. As well as obtaining a degree in Philosophy, Politics and Economics, she also completed a course in International Law and Diplomacy at Oxford.

Ms. Bhutto is the author of "Foreign Policy in Perspective" (1978) and her autobiography, "Daughter of Destiny" (1989). She received the Bruno Kreisky Award for Human Rights in 1988 and the Honorary Phi Beta Kappa Award from Radcliffe in 1989.

Benazir Bhutto is a woman of courage and conviction and we are proud to acknowledge her with the International Leadership Award.

source:Women's International Centre

"A thousand tributes to the woman of peace, who help to build her own nation for her own people towards a better place to live in. She will always stay in our hearts, as the courageously leader who leads and fights for her own people's freedom"

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promise

I did a promise with my friend some time ago. I said that I would forget something and never mention it to him again. Actually, that something is someone. And I tried to forget that person, still it's still there. I'm erasing the presence but still I can feel it, too well. I deleted all the pictures. I throw away things that could relate me and that person. I'm so, sorry that I couldn't do better kay? I'm keeping the promise, pls understand. won't ya?

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