4.23.2008

There's Light at the End of the Tunnel pt.1

"I never blamed anyone, why should you?" a good friend of mine spoke.

Those words hit me hard on the face and my alter ego that I kept using to pretend I'm just okay.

"Well, I...had to blame someone..." my words clogged at the end of my throat.

I'm ashamed of myself and my deeds to others while I'm still in my school days. I'm a big idiot. The biggest idiot for letting my anger taking control of me, for letting my rage goes uncontrollably, for letting my head set on thinking that it was "him"(someone who used to be my greatest strength to go on with hostel life) to be blamed, and for letting my egos doing all the unwanted attention worth of drama. Flashbacks came and it played inside my inner theater of memories. It had proven so much that I was partly to be blamed as well. I think real deep of what my friend had asked me. He's right. Why would I blame someone who's never really a factor in my fears, who's never been the main character of my drama, and who's I never even bothered before I met him? My friend is right. I shouldn't blamed anyone who had been part of my life, but I should thanked them instead. They made me grow up bit by bit.

Would you guys wanna hear a story about a Foolish boy who had a hard time to fit in into a new crowd and society?

It was 2006, when the Foolish boy went back home, after school, very worried of what might the results be when he checked on the entrance examination into one of the best school around. He partly wished for it.. but never really wanted it anyway. It was the Foolish boy's mother who wanted him to enter the school the most, so that a Bright Man, may be born from the Foolish boy. The Foolish boy had to obey, what else could you do if a mother wants the best for you? It was the worst case scenario for the Foolish boy when the result said that he was accepted to the school. What should the Foolish boy do? Should he tell his mother and obey blindly the wantings of a Mother? There's nothing the Foolish boy could do, since the letters are coming right in front of the door, sooner or later. So, the Foolish boy told his mother, and a smile was carved on the Mother's face. Hopes fly high for the Mother and those dreams are coming true, little by little, since the Foolish boy reluctantly obeys the Mother's wishes.

Two weeks passed. All the equipments for the Foolish boy was already bought a week earlier. the equipments you asked? Well, school equipments for the Foolish boy, so he can learn to live in the Hostel. The Foolish Boy sighed hard, wondering is this really is the right choice. Even though some of the Foolish boy's friends is coming as well, that doesn't make any difference at all to him. It was not really his friends, just some acquaintance from the previous school. But one of his friend, the Laughter Boy was coming as well. So, the Foolish boy wasn't lonely anymore. After all, the Laughter Boy was here with him. The registration was long enough to make any one go withered hearted, so the Foolish boy tried his hard to hide the fact that he was afraid of the whole new world. A world far far away from the Foolish boy's family. The Foolish boy looked at the rented car that his parents used while on the trip to sent the Foolish boy to his new school and hostel. His heart cried out loud, not to let his parents leave him behind, but it was to no avail. Who could hear a heart crying?

That first night, the Foolish boy couldn't sleep. He was restless. He was sleepless. He was anxious. He needed his family back. He needed his bed back. He needed his gaming console back. That night he called his parents asking whether he could turn back, turn back and never ever looked back at this dreaded place he's currently living in.

"Why don't you stay for the night. We'll come tomorrow. I promise." the Foolish boy's Father said.

"I just can't Father! It's not what I imagined of this school." the Foolish boy replied.

Tears started to roll on the Foolish boy's cheeks. He was trying hard to win over his parents. But no. It wasn't working like it always should.

"Why don't you visit the warden? I'll give him a call." Father said to relief the Foolish boy.

"Okay, Father." the Foolish boy replied, the voice was still unsure whether he should be relieved yet or not.

The Foolish boy met with the warden, yet more tears keep coming out from his eyes. He can't just stop. After all the Foolish boy is a spoiled brat to begin with. He never did anything by his own.

He survived the night, alone, and with fright.
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