It was Wednesday morning when my heart can't seemed to be at rest. It beat as if it wanted to run away from me, as far as the pumping would take it, as long it's far enough away from myself. I tried to breathe in, gasping for air, a pinch of reality, and a little grasp of despair. Lucky me, a friend of mine, Aiman had been staying with me and together we push ourselves through the unknown store, where God had been storing our fates, just lying for us to be found. And later we joined by Naim, on a ferry ride to that deserted island of thousands crushed dreams, where we took the time to reminisce ourselves back then. It helped a little to lift my burden as I was acting real though in front of these guys. I wouldn't succumbed to the darkness of my heart where only despair of reality had been residing all along this years. I tried not to think much about it, but little by little, my mind was taken away,flown into the space, wondering what kind of fate had God stored for me?
I muttered some prayers, soothing my inner place of thoughts. It worked but only to be disturbed again by the Satan, whispering doubts in my ears. What if you failed? What if you were the lowest in the college? What if you were failing your parents? I couldn't bare the last question at all. Failing my parents was the worst thing I could had think of, and their faces then, would be extreme incomprehensible if I were to fail them. Good God, Allah! What if that happened? Would I be smiling again, rising my face looking straight at my parents' in the eyes? Aiman and Naim, were no better than me. They were also afraid, and all the calls they got from their relatives are just adding up the nervous that they already drenched in, barely breathing fine. The ferry were slower and slower and came to a halt at the Langkawi Jetty. I looked at Aiman and Naim and they looked back at me. We know it's time to go back to the College. It's time to accept what kind of fate or destiny God had stored for us, long long time ago before we were even born into this world.
From there we took a van and were joined by Pipu, another dear friend of mine. He looked really calmed, and envious thoughts rose from my inner chamber of thoughts. Wish I was that calm, myself. Sigh. I know exactly the source of his calmness was from. His confident of his slip. He's confident that the result's gonna be good, as good, as the monthly exam we did every month back then. I can't really blamed him though, who told me not to study very hard in the first place, knowing the fact answering a simple additional maths question was just as hard going to the war, in fact I thought going to war is easier than answering some numbers on a paper? It's me alright. I rushed to my old class, which had changed looks and name, leaving my begs and belongings there. I walked slowly to the debts counter, wondering whether I owned the college or not. Passed! I didn't owned anything to the college. Aiman, Naim and Pipu were right behind me. I walk fast leaving them behind in to the TAC and there where it started to went all.... right for me~!? Seriously? I asked the counter. Beatings of my heart could not stop me anymore. I must know the truth, I must uncovered what kind of fate had been stored for me.I don't really care back then about anyone else's result. She, the school's lab technician handed me my slip, I looked at her, she just smiled, and I examined it real close, hoping it's true. I read it again and again, wondering if my eyes had failed me this time.
Thank God! I got 8As and 2Bs, which is more than I had bargained for. I jumped and laughed as if I never did those things for years. I called Ayah, and told him the great news only just to be replied of great disbelief! >.< "Betoi ka dapat 8A?" ayah curtly replied. I was speechless, my voice were bland. Ayah, didn't believe me at all. Never mind that, I've had proof in my hands, just waiting to be plastered on Ayah's face. Anyway, I did great, and the burden were taken away from me instantly. By the way, the cable man had stored back my cable and it's just great. Thanks TM!
I muttered some prayers, soothing my inner place of thoughts. It worked but only to be disturbed again by the Satan, whispering doubts in my ears. What if you failed? What if you were the lowest in the college? What if you were failing your parents? I couldn't bare the last question at all. Failing my parents was the worst thing I could had think of, and their faces then, would be extreme incomprehensible if I were to fail them. Good God, Allah! What if that happened? Would I be smiling again, rising my face looking straight at my parents' in the eyes? Aiman and Naim, were no better than me. They were also afraid, and all the calls they got from their relatives are just adding up the nervous that they already drenched in, barely breathing fine. The ferry were slower and slower and came to a halt at the Langkawi Jetty. I looked at Aiman and Naim and they looked back at me. We know it's time to go back to the College. It's time to accept what kind of fate or destiny God had stored for us, long long time ago before we were even born into this world.
From there we took a van and were joined by Pipu, another dear friend of mine. He looked really calmed, and envious thoughts rose from my inner chamber of thoughts. Wish I was that calm, myself. Sigh. I know exactly the source of his calmness was from. His confident of his slip. He's confident that the result's gonna be good, as good, as the monthly exam we did every month back then. I can't really blamed him though, who told me not to study very hard in the first place, knowing the fact answering a simple additional maths question was just as hard going to the war, in fact I thought going to war is easier than answering some numbers on a paper? It's me alright. I rushed to my old class, which had changed looks and name, leaving my begs and belongings there. I walked slowly to the debts counter, wondering whether I owned the college or not. Passed! I didn't owned anything to the college. Aiman, Naim and Pipu were right behind me. I walk fast leaving them behind in to the TAC and there where it started to went all.... right for me~!? Seriously? I asked the counter. Beatings of my heart could not stop me anymore. I must know the truth, I must uncovered what kind of fate had been stored for me.I don't really care back then about anyone else's result. She, the school's lab technician handed me my slip, I looked at her, she just smiled, and I examined it real close, hoping it's true. I read it again and again, wondering if my eyes had failed me this time.
Thank God! I got 8As and 2Bs, which is more than I had bargained for. I jumped and laughed as if I never did those things for years. I called Ayah, and told him the great news only just to be replied of great disbelief! >.< "Betoi ka dapat 8A?" ayah curtly replied. I was speechless, my voice were bland. Ayah, didn't believe me at all. Never mind that, I've had proof in my hands, just waiting to be plastered on Ayah's face. Anyway, I did great, and the burden were taken away from me instantly. By the way, the cable man had stored back my cable and it's just great. Thanks TM!
hehe.. congrates, chom! =)
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