Waiting, Jealousy and Despair

Flu and Offer;
It's been hell of a day to me today. I feel really terrible; my body's weak because of the flu, and I'm feeling angry and jealous for no reason. Actually, there's a reason behind all this. It's simple; I'm not good enough to do anything right like my plans supposed to be. I wanted things go well and exactly like I've planned, but it's not going like it should be. What's wrong with my plans? The calculations maybe? Yeah, the calculations on my side. You know, I'm still waiting for that offer, but JPA make others like me wait from 2nd week of May to the middle of May.

Convincing and Running;
They said and convinced me to go to the other place, which I reluctantly say yes, but instead they got a better offer, and left me there alone. I can't really blame them now, can I? I chose to go there on my own liberty of choosing. Yet, I can't help it, but to blame them since it was them who tried to manipulate my choice. This is how humans work. They are just doing things for their own good, and who am I to say no to them? I feel terrible typing this as well, since they're my best of friends. Jealousy is really killing me now. Especially that jealousy goes to my friends as well.

Despair does nothing;
I felt really terrible for being jealous and at the same time I'm struck with a flu, and it all thanks to my sister, despite being a doctor, she insists on coming to me. We all know flu is infectious, right? Anyway, I'm feeling bad right now, and I think I need a decent sleep to regain my strength. And I'm so sorry for saying those things, friends. It's just my thoughts. Pray for my success you all, I definitely do the same.

Tata XD


  1. hope you'll get better soon. of course I wish you the best.

    I didn't get the MARA offer though.

    The weird thing is I didn't feel sad at all!


    my rezeki is just not there..

  2. aiyo! chom flu???tsk tsk... kene tdo lebeh banyak dr normal la maknenye ni.....dun worry la jpa....rezeki di mana2

  3. haha. i thought i was the only insane person. rupa2nye you felt the same way! (not the flu, the jealousy lah!) i mean seriously, 149 infineighters got mara, what are OUR chances of getting jpa? we aren't 'anak jpa', we are 'anak mara'. but we applied jpa. so....??
    and then, there're the kiasu chinese and indians we have to compete with for the scholar. the intrvw was easy peasy but EVERYONE says jpa's intrvw is easy! so....??

    but then again, allah is always fair to his servants and i'm keeping my mind positive at all times. :) tpi, i still envy those lucky mara scholars. they deserve it tho. lol.


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